Virginity Lost.

Well this is certainly an interesting situation.

Now now, don't go peeing your pants out of terror/excitement/shame/what have you. I am still technically (sexually) a virgin.


On Thursday night, I got a phone call from a blocked number. The person calling told me his name was Brian, and we proceeded to have a conversation, with me trying to figure out if/how I knew him, but nevertheless enjoying it in a weird way. He eventually admitted that his name was not Brian, but Thomas, and that my friend's younger brother had given him my number in order to prank call me. He told me he was 19, and jokingly suggested we meet up some time. I said sure, why not. He was surprised, and we made plans to meet up. He was polite an funny, and came to pick me up Friday night for dinner.

In the car on the way over, he turned to me. "I have to tell you something," he said. "I'm not 19. I'm actually 18..." The thought didn't surprise me for some reason. I replied lightheartedly. "well, as long as you're graduated from high school, I'm good," I joked. He laughed nervously and we went on.

After dinner we rented a movie and watched it at his house in Provo, where he lived with his parents. We were very comfortable around each other and didn't find it difficult getting close and snuggly. We lay on his bed at one point, just talking about all kinds of things. Our conversations ranged from deep and meaningful to comical and teasing. I was terribly surprised by it all.

At one point, things were getting flirty and a little physical. He complimented my body, feeling my abs and running his hands up my back, and the talk turned to physical things as well. He looked at me and said,"you know, I'm actually VL." (that's "virgin lips" for all you uneducated folk.) I didn't believe him, and said so, but he swore it was true. I could tell he wanted to kiss me. It was blaringly obvious. But is isn't give in. I'm not a first-date chick anymore, you know. But I let him touch me and hold my hand. I did like him. It's true.

The next day, we were texting, when the brother of his friend texted me as well, asking I I'd had fun and poking at a certain fact about Thomas. I was astounded, and asked Thomas if it was true. He admitted it.

"yes... I'm still in high school. I was scared to tell you because we were getting along so well and I didn't want to mess it up. Please don't let it screw up our friendship," he begged. And I couldn't help it. Though it stressed me out as hell, I gave in and said we could see each other again that night, given that we keep it quiet from our friends.

He picked me up again that night. Though I was still unnerved, I couldn't help but like him. God help me, I do not know why I do.

And as you can probably guess, yes. I kissed him that night. I'd never before been someone's a first kiss, and it was certainly an experience. It was like I could mold him however I wanted. I felt powerful and mature and awesome. Ha.... No kidding. It was magnificent.

I saw him again last night. He was worried that I would get tired of him. Unfortunately, I'm not. Unfortunate because we have mutual friends who would kill us if they knew. Unfortunate because I'm 21 and he's 18. Unfortunate because he's even younger than my little sister. Unfortunate because our parents would kill us. Unfortunate because he's a senior in high school, and I'm a senior in college.

It's so not right. Yet I can't help myself.

Go figure.